by edward | Sep 22, 2024 | Fantasy, Talents

A Wake Delayed…
Janet Julianne Garrison pulled her car into the parking bay along Lakeshore Drive. She grabbed plastic bag holding a six-pack of beer and sat next to a friend sitting on the seawall.
“You know, I was about today years old when I learned that this parking bay was actually part of the street, back in the day,” she said.
Bishop Mike O’Donnell looked up and smiled.
“Yeah, the cops called this ‘Dead Man’s Curve.’ I don’t know if anyone actually died flying through here, but there were some crazy skids and slides through it. I remember, one time, dude in a nice Camaro skid into a friend’s old-ass pickup. The car had a couple of thousand dollars of body damage, and the old-ass truck had a scratched. I think if that truck could laugh, it would still be laughing.”
“Those were my Uptown days, I guess. We had relatives out here, but our partying was usually closer to home,” JJ replied.
“Then those two reprobates you want to grad school with showed you the depravities of the Lakefront,” Mike said. He was referring to “Bubba” Watanabe and Renard Alciatore.
JJ snorted.
“Speaking of which, usually I’m bringing beer out here to talk Ren off one ledge or another. Today, it’s you. Meg said you were in your feels a bit.”
“Well, she’s right,” he said, holding out his hand for a can of “Paradise Park” from Urban South Brewery. She passed one to him, then grabbed one for herself, popping the top and taking a deep swig.
“It was Dixie when we first started coming out here. Then Abita. Now, Paradise Park is our go-to lager. Where’s your car, anyway?” She asked.
“Walked over the levee from my office on campus,” Mike explained.
“Good, you can have most of this six-pack, then.”
“Just make sure there are no phone-cams pointed at us. Drunk bishop doesn’t make for good Instagram,” he said.
“Shit, that’s solid Instagram content, but I see your point. How about we make out? Then they won’t be talking about your beer-drinking,” JJ suggested, with a smile.
“Incorrigible!” Mike replied.
“Admit it, you’re tempted.”
“I’m amazed how many housewives think flirting with a bishop is OK. I keep wanting to call their bluff, but then I’d end up being the dog who caught the car,” he said.
“They’d be the one catching the car. Probably would have fun,” she said, with a wink.
“I dunno, some of them are so grumpy, I don’t know if they know how to have decent sex anymore. What they need are girlfriends.”
JJ laughed.
“We’ve gone from tipsy you to horny you to liberal you! I like it!”
Mike smiled, a bit sad, but still it was a smile.
“Yeah, I do too.”
“OK, so, what’s on your mind, Your Excellency? Even Meg didn’t have a clue why you checked out for the afternoon.”
He sighed, finished his beer, and reached for another one.
“I learned that a guy I went to high school with passed away. Now, I’m getting to an age where that’s not shocking news, but this guy died three years ago. Covid was raging and it caught him.”
“Aw, shit,” she said.
“Thing is, he was a physician. He knew better. So many of them did. What got him caught up in it was that his son contracted the virus. Trying to heal his son killed him as well. We weren’t the best of friends back in the day, and he moved away after college, and now there won’t be any reunions, old-guy reminiscing, you know, the shit people do who haven’t seen each other in a thousand years.”
The Call
Mike paused for a moment, taking another sip. He set the can down and stood up, facing Lake Pontchartrain. Spreading his arms wide, he summoned his psychic energy.
“I call and entreat the Guardians of the Elements, Raphael, Michael, Gabriel, and Uriel! Continue to guard and protect the souls of our loved ones and heroes!”
The colors of Archangels appeared as he called their names, merging together into pure white light. Firey sunlight was blown upward by a powerful wind, as the waters of the lake formed a waterspout off the seawall. As Mike and JJ marveled at the display, a rumble in the ground made them turn around. A mound of earth formed and a muscular Black woman in a white gown stepped forward.
“Uriel!” JJ gasped.
“Yes, love. I bring the blessings of the fertile ground—don’t worry, you, we’re not getting you fertile!” The archangel laughed as she approached JJ and kissed her forehead. She then walked over to Mike and embraced him.
“It’s sweet of you to worry about your lost friend. Rest assured, he is far from lost, as he was reunited with his son and many others. The await another turn of the Wheel, where they will continue their part in the Work. Take care, Michael. You know the best thing you can do is to keep moving forward.”
Uriel released him, winked at JJ, and returned to the mound of Earth. With a bright flash of white, the mound vanished.
“Wow!” JJ said.
“Yeah,” he replied.
“All of a sudden, I’m hungry,” she said.
Mike laughed.
“That’s often a by-product of angelic interactions.”
“OK, then. How about we go get some dinner and you can tell me stories of your friend?” She suggested.
“A two-person Irish wake?”
She reached for her phone.
“I’ll text the gang. Everyone deserves a proper Irish wake, even if it’s a couple of years delayed!”
© 2024, Edward J. Branley
by edward | Sep 3, 2023 | Talents, Talents Universe, Writing
“She sits on the Big Gray Rocks”
big gray rooks

Mississippi River at the Moonwalk, French Quarter, New Orleans, March 2019 02, by Infrogmation
Big Gray Rocks
Anil looked up from his workstation in Ops.
“Does anyone know where Mike is? I’ve texted him twice, no reply.”
“Marconi and the Lakefront?” Lyn asked.
“No, I had Kate check there,” Anil replied.
“Ask Mary Margaret. She’s best at predicting his moods,” Lyn said.
Anil nodded and texted Meg.
I’m not surprised he’s gone off the grid for a bit. You heard the news, right?
“News?”
“Yeah, Jimmy Buffett passed away last night.”
“That’s a shame, but it’s not something I’d put high on the ‘news’ list.”
“You’re not a Parrotthead, Anil. I’ve got this, I’ll have him call when I find him.”
“Thanks!”
Meg got up from the table in the courtyard at Celtic Bayou Gifts and Metaphysical Supplies and stuck her head in the shop. Tara looked up from behind the counter, where she was reading.
“Oui, Madame?” Tara asked.
“I’m stepping out for a minute,” Meg said.
“No problem!” Tara said.
Meg stepped out of the shop’s carriageway a few minutes later, after ditching her flip flops for a pair of Doc Martens. She stepped out onto Chartres Street and walked towards St. Louis Cathedral.
“Past the boutique — I guess Fleurty Girl counts as a Boutique?”
She paused in Pirates Alley
“Down the alley, to the river…he got the places out of order, but the spirit is there. Sorta like Williams did with the streetcar directions,” Meg thought.
And there he was, sitting on the big gray rocks.
“I’m not taking off my boots and socks down here, you know. Nasty funk in that water!” Meg said, as she made herself comfortable next to Mike O’Donnell.
“Hey. You figured my location out?” He asked.
“Yup. When I remembered you said you were saying Saturday morning Mass at the Cathedral, it wasn’t hard to suss out. Anil thought you’d be out at the Lakefront,” Meg replied.
“Legit, legit. But ‘In the Shelter’ is such a good song, and one of the men at Mass was humming it as he walked out of Church today,” Mike explained.
“How about you check in with Anil, make sure he’s not losing his mind, and we’ll go for a cheeseburger?” Meg suggested.
by edward | Aug 20, 2023 | Talents


Hidden Talents
by Edward Branley
CHAPTER TWO
Coffee and Donuts
“I don’t like doing business in such a public place, any casual observer of this conversation would conclude that you’re from out of town. Locals don’t wear dark clothes when they eat beignets at Café du Monde. Most ladies don’t like powdered sugar all over an expensive suit,” sniffed the twenty-something man to the woman seated across from him.
William Ryan was talking to Anita Delatorre, who had arrived in New Orleans the night before.
“I seriously doubt you have to worry about being seen in public with me at a coffee stand. Besides, my reputation would be in greater jeopardy if I were to be seen in your usual haunts in this city.” Her blonde hair was pulled back severely and her navy-blue business suit was conservative even by old New Orleans’ standards.
“Hmm…I dare say, under those outrageously simple clothes you have on, that there is a body which would fit right in with my preferred sort of establishment.”
Even though he had lived in America for the past ten years, Ryan’s voice still maintained a hint of his Belfast origins. “So, what is important enough to draw you away from Dallas?”
“We’ve come across some obstacles in our long-range marketing plan for a Christian preacher, right here in town, out by the lake. The guy’s written some trade books for us and his show does well in Christian outlets, but we see him moving to a more mainstream market. He’s great on the end-times stuff, and we want to move him into the homeschooling resources. There’s a solid base for homeschooling resources here in Louisiana, and we can build on that nationally.”
Her features took on a harsh expression, yet one totally in keeping with her demeanor. “The problem is, his divorce from his first wife was messy. The records were sealed but an Internet-based skeptic group has acquired them. He also has a challenge keeping his dick in his pants.”
“And you need this group handled?” The young man sipped his strong café-au-lait with an eerie calmness. “Internet, huh? Sounds like you need a 15-year-old hacker, not me.”
Anita smiled inwardly. Ryan was 22 and looked like he could pass for 15. “No, we’ve got that angle covered. I need to get down to the root of the problem. Can we do business?” Her smile was so sweet that the couple in the next table might have thought she had just propositioned the young man.
“How many?”
“Five definite. Possibly three others.” Anita wiped the sugar from her fingers and pulled a small envelope from her jacket. “They are to be handled in order. It’s possible that the activist group will ease up after the first one or two. Your fee is for all five in any case.”
Ryan looked concerned. “I don’t like contact with a client in the middle of a job.”
“I’ll get word to you indirectly. The details are on the second note. You will proceed after the first two depending on the photo placed on the website listed here. You stop when the ‘no-go’ photo is displayed. I have total control of that site, so there will be no possibility of miscommunication.”
Ryan nodded. “I’ll let you know tomorrow. Are you going back to Dallas immediately or can I tempt you into coming out with me later?”
Anita smiled. “I’d love to go dancing but if I was spotted at The Bourbon Pub, it would be my ass at work. Maybe if I ever switch to a mainstream publisher.”
“If you do, then you won’t be doing business with me, that’s for sure. Mainstream publishers don’t have the need for damage control that you Christian types do.” Ryan’s grin was totally mirthless.
Anita maintained her sugar-sweet grin. “This is quite true. But the pay is darned good. For both of us.”
Ryan’s gaze turned serious.
“Doesn’t it bother you to work for people who so completely hate what you are?”
She smiled.
“Well dear, I could ask you the same question, since you are taking their money. But I’ll answer you. These people pay well, and the best way to keep tabs on your enemies is to keep them within arm’s length.”
“What are these people to you personally? You could use your Talents for so many other purposes than this. Your interest in these people just doesn’t make any sense.”
Anita’s smile turned serious again. “You see, sugar, it isn’t merely my own personal interest. I have acquaintances that take an interest in these people and I report their movements to those acquaintances.”
Ryan became startled: “You mean someone with Talents has some kind of authority over you?”
“Yes.”
“I’ve heard of such things, of course. But I have never encountered them before.” His eyes had widened during this last exchange. Anita put her hand on his for a few seconds, and then looked directly in his eyes.
“Will, you are good at what you do. You are well-trained in the use of your Talents. But you’re young and there are many things you have yet to learn about those Talents. Always remember that, as you go about your business.”
Ryan nodded, as one would expect from a young man aware of his immortality. Anita smiled backed at him and patted his hand as she stood to leave.
“There’s a phone number in there that goes to a voicemail which will page me when a message is left. I know your rules, but this is a just-in-case thing.” She left and continued on her way without looking back.
Ryan sat silent for some time. Eventually, he opened the packet Anita had left for him. Inside, was a set of bio-sheets, one for each of his targets: Three on the north shore, one in the city, and one over on the Gulf Coast. His instincts told him to do two of the north shore targets first, head over to Bay St. Louis for the one on the coast, back to Mandeville for the third north shore guy, finally heading back to the city to finish the job. Anita’s instructions were specific as to their order, however; he would have to do the targets on the north shore first, then back to the city for the third, and out to the coast and then finishing in Mandeville.
Will sighed. New Orleans is a city full of possibilities for a young man who likes other men, but Anita’s job meant he’d be going into the suburbs. As much as New Orleans the city lived by the motto of “let the good times roll”, its suburbs were extremely conservative. There was no way he could drive the thirty miles back to the French Quarter and back, while maintaining the low profile required to complete the job. Ah well, the sacrifices we make for our careers. He waved to the waiter for another coffee, then he went back to studying the bio-sheets.
***
Ren did not care for driving on the Causeway. Twenty-four miles of nothing but flat water and the thump-thump, thump-thump of the tires as they hit the expansion joints on the bridge. It was enough to drive a sane man to distraction. Still, there were tons of opportunities for photography jobs in Mandeville and Covington, given the suburban migration that took place in the 80s and early 90s from the city and the south shore suburbs. Besides, two of his best resources for the JHM website lived across the lake, so he could easily dovetail business with a little Internet fun.
Well, he thought, it used to be two of his best resources. Nick Thibodeaux was a former Coast Guardsman who listened to Talk Live! every day like clockwork. He was a smoker, and Nick and Ren certainly shared more than one pitcher of beer on Ren’s adventures across Lake Pontchartrain. Still, the news that Nick had dropped dead from a heart attack in the middle of lunch the previous day had come as a shock to Ren. He decided to go to the Thibodeaux house after the photo shoot to give Margie a hug and what little comfort he could offer. Ren had not planned on seeing Nick’s grave this trip over, however; his first stop when he finally got off the Causeway would be a coffee shop in Covington to see his other blogging resource.
“Annie’s Attic” was no name for a coffee house, thought Ren. Its Highway-190 location made it a busy place every morning, though, so the name didn’t hurt. Commuters heading towards the city stopped-by in droves for their premium coffees, which is why Ren usually tried to schedule his meetings with his north shore buddies for a little after the morning rush.
Anybody still on the north shore after nine o’clock would not be getting into the city until lunchtime anyway, so Covington traffic was a little lighter by then. Ren pulled his car into the parking lot, locked it, and headed into Annie’s with a spring in his step.
James Michael Kahn III, “Trip” to his friends, waved Ren straight to the table. “I got yours right here. You are so predictable on Wednesday mornings that I can even have your coffee waiting for you, still steaming.” Kahn’s smile was infectious, and he was good at charming anyone from the most obnoxious police juror to the most conservative Rabbi back on St. Charles Avenue.
Trip was just a year older than Ren and was the cultural opposite of his late north shore partner, Nick Thibodeaux, in Internet religious mayhem. A lawyer by profession, Trip Kahn had given up most of his active practice several years earlier to join his father’s real estate development business. The rapid growth of St. Tammany Parish meant that more north shore residents need fast-food restaurants and drug stores, and Trip’s father was the man to see when you wanted either in your neighborhood. The elder Kahn no longer ventured out of uptown New Orleans, leaving Trip to supervise operations on the north shore. Trip was not one for a coat, a tie, and an office; he preferred to do his mornings’ business from Annie’s, stop by his house to change batteries on his cell-phone, then head to a coffee-shop in Mandeville for his afternoons.
“Well, Trip, you seem to have managed to make the transition to a Mandeville country gentleman, but I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to cope with living anywhere but within the city. Even when I come up here for a shoot or to see you guys, I feel like I’ve left a piece of me behind. I just don’t feel right.”
Trip laughed at his friend. “It’s just you artsy-fartsy types. Harder for you to leave what you’re used to.” His expression turned serious: “I’m going over to see Margie this afternoon. It’s still hard to believe, Ren.”
“Yeah, I’m still numb about it.”
Trip’s face brightened immediately. “Well. I’m not Irish, but I do know it’s our time to celebrate his memory by going forward. What’s our next fun project on the blog?”
“As usual, you have managed to say just the right thing at the right time.” The spark in Ren’s eyes had returned.
“I’ve got a line inside the ministry, Trip.” Ren handed over hard copies of the messages from his mystery contact.
Trip read through the manuscript, reviewed the documents, and then repeated the process. After the second reading, he looked up at Ren and asked, “Have you considered the possibility that this is disinformation? Or, at worse, a set-up?”
“Yeah, I have. But I’m inclined to believe it’s genuine. It’s just instinct though, so I wanted you to have a look. Us artsy-fartsy types aren’t as suspicious as you lawyer types,” said Ren, grinning.
Trip laughed as he stood up to order another coffee.
“Well, my initial instinct is that they’re genuine, too. Is she serious about pictures?”
“I think so. Remember Jimmy Swaggart? Some of these guys are pretty kinky.”
“OK then. Well, you did a good job of sanitizing the first installment of this, so you should work the rest of this material into the blog on a staggered basis. You obviously shook the shit out of Hadley with that first bit, since he did an exorcism the next day.”
“You think the two were related?” Ren was puzzled.
“You bet! Either God really is on his side or he’s got a helluva system for putting those together quickly. Think about it Ren. There’s no better way to deflect all criticism of the Ministry in general or Hadley in particular than by a troubled soul in need of Jay’s specific brand of assistance. And that makes for awesome radio. One of these days we are going to find out how he pulls those off. It’s got to be paid actors, but the system is what I’m interested in. It’s not rehearsed–not with Hadley at least. I’m sure of that. His reactions, his on-air confusion, that sort of thing. It’s not forced; he really doesn’t seem to know what’s coming next. Thing is, the rest of the show is too controlled, which means someone there knows what’s coming next, and keeps the lid on it.”
Ren was just nodding as he absorbed his friend’s comments. “Well, perhaps my mystery friend can help us in that department.”
“She just might be able to.”
“How do you know it’s a she?”
“Think about what we know of the staff, Ren. The only men there are Jay and his CFO.”
“That’s true.”
“Besides, you were contacted initially via a mobile chat program. You know as well as I do that guys don’t message guys using those things.”
“Well, no, not usually. At least not straight guys.” Ren was smiling broadly.
“You got it sport. I take it you tried to back-track the source of the messages?”
“Yes, but she’s good at anonymity.”
“Well you’re more of a computer geek than I’ll ever be, Ren. I do have a guy that comes to work on the office computers that might know something you and I don’t. Lives in Metairie, so maybe we can involve him if we want to pursue that.”
Ren looked thoughtful as he nodded again.
“No, let’s keep this one close. If this is genuine, which I believe it is, we’re going to want to keep a tight lid on the source. Even to the extent of people who have no interest in JHM. After all, the best way to keep a secret is not to tell anyone.”
“Definitely.” Trip raised his hand momentarily as his cell-phone chimed.
“Let me take this one, OK?”
Ren got up to order a regular coffee as his friend listened intently to the voice on his phone. He took the long way back to the table, stopping to check out some of the photography on the walls.
“That’s a new photo of the Cathedral,” he thought.
Looking at the little card attached to it, he noticed that a Mandeville lady he had heard of had shot the photo. She was your basic empty-nest housewife who was trying her hand at a new career. Judging by the quality of the composition, she was on her way to at least having fun with it.
Ren’s leisurely stroll around Annie’s wound him back to their table just as Trip hit the “end” button on his phone.
“Ren, I’ve got to run. All hell is breaking loose with a Slidell project. That was a friend of mine who works at a church over there. It’s amazing what she picks up just by keeping her door open as parishioners come in and out of the office.” Trip grinned, and then stood and gathered up his coffee with his phone.
“Let’s take a steady pace on this stuff, Ren, and see where it leads you. What you’ve shown me could be a significant break; you should start writing a journal of what happens from now on. If this gal comes through with some good information you could write a book about the experience of how you brought down a ministry! Take care, my friend. Email me later, when you have worked up the next installment.”
Trip Kahn strolled out of Annie’s without looking back, as was his style. He walked over to his luxury SUV and climbed in, not noticing the young man sitting in the rented sedan on the other side of the parking lot.
***
Not that he would have seen him anyway. William Ryan had taken a number of precautions well above and beyond those things a good cop does during a stake-out. Ryan had all but made himself invisible to those around him from the moment his car had left the Causeway that morning and had made its way a few houses down the street from Kahn’s home. Ryan’s success as an assassin was based on his ability to use his Talents two-fold: first was his ability to conceal his presence in the area almost completely; and second was his expertise in creating “accidents” so that his victims apparently suffered some tragic fluke of nature. No bullets, knives, or poisons from this hit man. His stock-in-trade was to create heart attacks, slip-and-falls, choking deaths and auto accidents. Ryan thought of himself rather as an artist in the composition of the perfect automobile accident. His last foster-father was a cop, and often the young man would proofread his auto-accident reports.
“Yes, accidents are an art form,” thought Ryan.
They were an art form he loved to develop and to perfect. As he watched Kahn pull his SUV out of the parking lot, Ryan’s mind moved quickly, taking in the surrounding traffic flow, road conditions, and the position of Kahn’s vehicle. He knew it would take a large vehicle at high speed to wreak significant damage to the navy-blue luxury SUV. And here came an 18-wheeler from the north to oblige him. Focusing his vision, both inner and peripheral, on the driver of the rig, he gave a mental shrug and the driver’s heart stopped beating. Another mental shrug and the rig accelerated, swerving across the two southbound lanes before sideswiping a car heading straight for the side of Kahn’s vehicle. The rig collided like a T-bone with the SUV and continued to plow forward, pushing the SUV in front of it. Ryan skillfully guided the rig mentally into a light pole on the other side of the street, crumpling the SUV like a tin can, with Kahn inside.
The sound of the impact startled everyone in every store in the little strip mall nearby. Ren and the barista in the coffee shop dashed outside to see what had happened. Ren was horrified to see his friend’s SUV pinned and crushed by the massive rig. He yelled out at the girl to call 911, and he darted over to the wreck to see if he could assist Trip. There was no hope; Trip’s head rolled sideways, his neck snapped by the impact. Ren checked on the truck driver but it was obvious he was dead also, but not from the force of the accident. He was slumped over the steering wheel, bleeding slightly, but the truck had not suffered enough physical damage to cause the driver’s death.
Emergency crews were on the scene within moments, but there was nothing for them to do but to clean up. Ren sat on the curb, trembling. The girl from Annie’s brought him a glass of iced water and occasionally walked out from the shop to make sure Ren was all right. The police spoke with them both, but neither he nor the girl could contribute anything to explain why the morning had gone so terribly wrong.
The one person who could explain things continued to sit all but motionless in the parking lot as everyone hustled and bustled around him. Ryan was stretched out low in his seat, not so much to hide from anyone, but for his need to release tension and relax after such an extensive and intense use of his Talents. He had not eaten anything since the previous night, so he could keep his mind sharp and focused on the task to come. His throat was parched; the last drink he had had was a cup of tea before driving over from the city early that morning. He had not wanted to cause a full bladder to distract him, either, so he had abstained from drinking anything else. Reaching over to the passenger seat he grabbed a bottle of spring water and guzzled it rapidly. He scanned the scene of the wreck and noticed a familiar face on the curb. Yes, that was indeed Renard Alciatore! His mind began racing with the possibilities but he checked himself mentally, remembering his instructions to wait until after the first two for a go-ahead signal.
“Damn it, I could cut down the timing of this job dramatically with this opportunity,” thought Will. He sighed, opened another bottle of water, and sipped slowly on this one while he waited for the emergency services to finishing clearing the carnage he had created.
Ren had to call his client and cancel the photo-shoot; he was entirely too shaken-up to be productive and there was no way he could face Rachel Kahn today, his horror of what he had seen earlier would be too obvious to her.
He considered checking into a motel on this side of the lake so he could avoid having to dwell on the accident all the way back to the city. But he decided just to jump into his car and get home. The 45-minute drive was terribly difficult for him, but he managed eventually to pull into his driveway, make his way to the kitchen, and knock back two large shots of whiskey before lying down on his bed until sleep finally overtook him.
Ryan decided to follow him back to his home in Faubourg St. John. Even though he had not checked-in to determine the future status of his current assignment, he decided to capitalize on knowing Alciatore’s whereabouts to begin formulating a plan. A photographer was likely to be more of a challenge in some ways, because a target of that profession has no set daily routine.
“But the lack of any routine was an opportunity in itself,” thought Will, as it would be easy to find just the right set of circumstances to chalk up another success.
When it was clear that Alciatore was not about to leave home anytime soon, Ryan returned to his suite at the Bourbon Orleans Hotel. He went over to the expensive notebook computer on his desk, and connected it to the hotel’s Wi-Fi to check the site that Anita had given him as their main contact point. He found the Evangelical Christian theme of the site a little repugnant, but he clicked his way to the specific page that contained the message for him. According to his instructions there would be either one of two photographs on the page: an illustration of a cross encircled by clouds would be the signal to stop and await further instructions; while an aerial photo of Old Jerusalem would be the signal to proceed to the next target.
The sight of the gleaming dome of the Al-Aqsa Mosque in Jerusalem staring back at him from the computer screen caused Will’s pulse to race. Sure, he was being paid handsomely for the job no matter whether or not he continued. The fun was in the game, not the money.
by edward | Aug 20, 2023 | Patreon, Talents
Hidden Talents online continues today with Chapter 2.

Hidden Talents makes awesome coffee shop reading!
Hidden Talents
The second chapter of Edward Branley’s first novel is available here on Eloquent Profanity! The story of Ren Alciatore’s challenges to radio preacher Jay Hadley.
If you become a Patron of Eloquent Profanity at the $1 level, you’ll receive access to the chapters as they become available here. Additionally, we’re publishing short stories and snippets from various works each month. So, come check us out. The prologue and Chapter 1 of Hidden Talents are available for everyone to read. If you like, become a patron.
Of course, if you read the first chapter and want the whole thing now, go to one of the usual suspects and buy the novel. It’s available in paperback and e-book. Even if you buy the book, we urge you to consider supporting the work by becoming a patron. We’ll offer content to keep you busy.
Talents Stories
This month, we’ll publish a story that’s in the Talents universe but not in one of the two novels, Hidden and Trusted. Who knows, it may make its way into a future long project, but in the meantime, if you like the characters and universe, we’ll do our best to keep you there.
Other Stories
While we’re starting the focus on Talents, there’s also lots of content from the Dragons stories we’ll drop here. Edward’s first romance story, “Trivial Tacos” is in final production, so look for stories and snippets exploring romance writing. It’s fun and a real challenge for a SF-F nerd writer. Stick with us and help us build the following here. We know it will pay off in terms of entertainment as we grow. While independent forum/discussion sites aren’t as popular as they used to be, the implosion of the artist formerly known as Twitter may speed this up a bit. We’ll encourage folks to join in chats here.
by edward | Aug 5, 2023 | Patreon, Talents


Prologue to the novel, Hidden Talents by Edward Branley.
Hidden Talents
COPYRIGHT
Copyright © 2015, 2016 Edward Branley
Cover art by Wendy Warrelmann
ISBN: 978-0-9967640-2-5
Second Paperback Edition
To the reader:
As much as the author would like to believe Magic and the Talents are real, this is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.
For Helen…
Prologue
Five minutes to air is always hectic at Jay Hadley Ministries. Cecilia McIntyre, producer of the radio show, Talk Now! With Jay Hadley, settled into her chair adjacent to the studio. Cecilia’s engineer and right-hand-woman, Annie, was already in position, manipulating the dials and switches on the control board. Cecilia hooked up the telephone headset and double-checked her computer. While her boss was on the air, she would screen the calls, Tweets, and Facebook comments, while pulling up sound files of past shows needed today. All hooked in now, Cecilia turned and smiled at Annie, who gave her a thumbs-up and continued her pre-show checklist.
Two minutes to air. The star of the show hurries from his office at one end of the suite to the studio at the other, all but ignoring the beautiful view of Lake Pontchartrain his suburban New Orleans location offered. The rent had to be paid, and that didn’t happen if Hadley didn’t get on the radio and ask for it. With a quick wave for the women preparing in the control room, Hadley took his place in the studio behind the microphone. Even though Hadley had a strong, radio-preacher’s voice, he did not cut an imposing figure in person. At 5’7” and 160 pounds, he might still be able to run five miles a day at the age of 47, but he’d never be mistaken for the corporate CEO he was. This bothered Hadley during the few times he spent in quiet reflection, but not now. He was in his domain, in control, and ready for the world.
One minute to air. Hadley reviewed the various bullet points Cecilia left on his desk. These outlines covered the topics he should use when doing the many off-the-cuff requests for donations he would make during the two-hour show. Chuckling at one particular line of attack listed, he looked up and waved at his producer and chief-of-staff, who beamed.
3:00pm CST. The satellite links are all on-line and the red “On Air” light above the door in Hadley’s studio goes on. As the theme music and voice-over finish, the star begins his opening monologue.
“Good afternoon and welcome to ‘Talk Now!’ I’m Jay Hadley, and I’ll be here for the next two hours to say what I have to say and listen to what you have to say. My topic for today is ‘Sharpshooting Sub-teens.’ What’s going on in our schools? We’ve got kids as young as eleven years old bringing guns to class and shooting down other students. The breakdown of the moral fiber of this nation is happening at an accelerated rate in these last days. I’ve got a lot to say about this, and I’m sure you do as well…”
As Hadley dug into the topic du jour, things got more active in the control room. Annie busied herself with level adjustments and verifying the links to the outside world. Cecilia’s phone lines were already ringing off the hook, with both supporters and detractors alike trying to get through to Hadley. She received regular activity updates from the telemarketing center down the hall, letting her know phone activity and the dollar amount of pledges to the Ministry. She then passed this information to her boss’ computer in the studio when she felt it appropriate. Grabbing a quick sip of her Diet Pepsi, she flipped the switch for an outside line.
“Talk Now! With Jay Hadley.”
“Yeah, I want to talk to the holy man!” The voice was male, late teens, and trying to growl like his favorite heavy-metal lead singer.
Cecilia sighed. She knew this one well. “Hi, Lonny. I thought I told you I wasn’t going to let you on more than once every couple of weeks. You’re calling back waayyy too early.”
“Lonny is no longer. Only Destructor exists.”
“Oh, sorry, that’s right. I forgot that you only use your stage name these days. Still, “Destructor”, I’m not ready for you today.”
“I want to talk to the holy man today! Kids who kill is perfect for Deeee-struc-tttttor!!!” The young man’s attempts to sound demonic were truly amusing Cecilia.
“OK, Lonny, stay on the line and I’ll see what I can do.” She hit the hold button on the console and looked up into the studio. The kid was entertaining and usually generated good donor response. A quick review of her “regular callers” file indicated that Lonny/Destructor not only generated response, but the response was of the immediate impact kind—credit card donations. Smiling inwardly, she turned up Hadley in her earphones to see where to work in the caller.
“…nothing but dope-smoking death-dealing Democrats poisoning the minds of our youth and leading us to situations like we saw on CNN yesterday. We’re taking back the country, brothers and sisters, but it’s not happening fast enough! I need your help, friends, to keep this Ministry on the air, fighting the fight for our youth!” Jay was on a roll today, Cecilia thought. She watched as he flipped the switch to run the theme music for the bottom half of the first hour, then keyed her intercom.
“Boss, do you want Lonny today?”
Hadley looked up from his notes. “Wasn’t he just on day before yesterday?”
Cecilia frowned a bit through the glass. “Yeah, but he’s got the right shtick for this topic, and he’s hot to trot on line six.”
“Hold him for just about the end of the show. If he’s still there around 4:45, we’ll do it. That’ll be a great follow-through to the daily offer summary. If he hangs up, he loses his chance at fame. This show is a path to better things, even for the wannabe devil-worshipers who harass us.” He smiled.
“OK, then, 4:45 it is.” She killed the intercom and went back to the phone. “Lonny, sit tight for a while and we’ll work you in.”
“Very well. Destructor will consent to wait for the holy man…”
“Sure thing.” She put him back on hold, gave Hadley a thumbs-up and went to the phones again. The callers were the usual mix of true believers, kids who objected to Hadley’s opposition to heavy-metal music, non-Christians who felt the Ministry preached intolerance, and just plain crazies. The calls usually worked themselves out—put on an “anti” call, fire up the phone lines, then a few true believer calls to get Hadley psyched up for the next crazy on the line.
The cycle ran true through the first hour, and into the second. There was no guest today, either in-studio or on the phone. Hadley continued on-message, and the phones were lighting up.
4:30 PM CST: Hadley clicks the intercom switch.
“Is Lonny still on hold?”
“Yup, he’s on line six.”
“OK, let’s shift the live solicitation up, then I’ll take him right after that.”
“OK, boss.” Cecilia popped the phone button, double-checked on Lonny, and then went back to the other phone lines. She needed to get some solid true believers on right after Lonny to keep the faithful pulling out their wallets. After she got a third caller on hold, she took a deep breath and listened as Hadley wound up the donation pitch.
“Brothers and Sisters, I must have your help for this Ministry to survive. I need you to give that $20 a month, or better yet, be that $1000 soldier for Christ we need to underwrite today’s broadcast. If that’s just something you can’t do, then let’s have two of you giving $500. I need to know you’re backing me. These kids need to know you are there. We have to get the message of the Lord out before we have more children killing children!
“OK, speaking of out of control teenagers, we’ve got Destructor on the phone. Hello, Destructor, are you still there?”
“Hooollllyyyy Maaannnn.” Lonny was pretty good at the evil voice bit. Hadley wasn’t all that impressed, though.
“I’m not a ‘holy man,’ just a man doing Jesus’ work on the radio.”
“Hooollllyyyy Maaannnn, you do not know us. We will defeat your so-called ‘God’ and crush your religion!”
“Not a chance, Destructor. The only thing that’s going to ‘destruct’ is your belief that you will succeed. I have the authority of the blood of Jesus Christ, and that gives me and all who believe in Him the power to bind you and yours and condemn your masters to the eternal pit!” Hadley’s finger was poised right next to the ‘panic button,’ the switch that shuts off the signal in case a caller gets obscene. Lonny’s file indicated that he never used improper radio language, but you never know with kids.
“Hooollllyyyy Maaaaannnnn, your God is worthless. Your life is worthless. You will be crushed like the sheep that you are. My master will be victorious. My master will come for you and destroy all you love and hold precious. My master will put bullets in the brains of your followers. My master…”
Hadley cut off the litany: “Destructor, I bind your threats and wash them away with the Blood of Jesus Christ. You and your master have no power here. The Risen Lord is forever!”
Almost as if it was rehearsed, Destructor began coughing when Hadley cut him off and began his counter-claims. Lonny regained his composure and snarled into the phone. “I would like to ask a question of the Holy Man.”
“Ask away.”
The question came, not in the “Destructor” voice, but Lonny’s post-adolescent whine. “Why is it that you like to take vacations with married women who work for you???”
Hadley slammed his hand down on the “panic button” that controlled the seven-second-delay system. The public did not hear anything Lonny said past the word “vacations.” Red-faced with rage, he turned and glared at Cecilia.
Cecilia was stunned. Lonny’s profile had no record of being a Challenger to the Ministry. He never would have made it on the air in that case. No, something went terribly wrong just now. She was set up, and Hadley was furious. Ministry statistics showed that contributions regularly drop 20%-30% for half an hour after someone questions the Rev. Hadley’s personal lifestyle or the way he handles Ministry money. Sure, some of the callers get through, but that’s why Cecilia developed the caller profile database. The more “safe” calls she let flow through, the less the chances of something uncontrolled happening. Something like Lonny’s question, generated ten seconds of dead air, and that was something that could not happen regularly.
Hadley recovered quickly, and began damage control. “Destructor, you are history. You just can’t use language like that on the radio. This is a family program with a family audience, and we just can’t have that here.” He glanced over at the computer monitor and hit a button.
“Joanne is on the line from Dallas. Go ahead, Joanne!”
A positive call from a true believer would pick things up, but Cecilia still saw the smoldering anger in Hadley’s eyes. It was going to be a tough twenty minutes, but she had to keep the callers moving. She could figure out what went wrong later.
by edward | Aug 4, 2023 | Patreon, Talents
Starting tomorrow, we’re publishing Hidden Talents here, serially.

Hidden Talents for Patrons
Beginning tomorrow, 5-August, we’ll serialize Hidden Talents, Edward Branley’s first novel! Here’s the back-cover blurb:
New Orleans is hot, humid, spiritual…and magical!
Anita Delatorre is a junior executive for a publishing company specializing in Christian books and homeschooling materials. One of her “responsibilities” is to be her company’s liaison with a New Orleans-based radio preacher, whose books her company publishes. A group seeking to discredit her client is all too successful, and Anita must take steps to stop them, using any means at her disposal. And Anita’s means are formidible: She is a sorceress, whose psychic Talents extend well beyond those of most mortals.
Renard Alciatore is a thirty-four-year old photographer who enjoys using his computer skills to mock Anita’s client, the Reverend Jay Hadley. As Ren begins to receive information of financial and sexual improprieties from inside Jay Hadley Ministries, his life is threatened, and, in the process his own Talents are revealed. He is placed under the Protection of a shadowy organization known as The Assembly as he learns to use his Talents, to improve his photography, help others when he can, and defend his own life, when Challenged.
What were once Hidden Talents emerge in the hot New Orleans summer. Only one will walk away when the Duel is joined!
Hidden Talents is the first full-length novel from New Orleans Historian Edward Branley, whose knowledge of the city comes to life as Anita pursues Ren, to protect her business interests.
Originally released in 2016, Hidden Talents is available from all of the usual suspects. We’re re-setting Elysian Fields Press for direct sales of signed copies.
This is Eloquent Profanity’s first full-on Patreon content. While my Personal Log entries and other short thoughts are here, August marks the beginning of this site as formally patron-supported.
How it works
We’ll drop chapters of Hidden Talents on the 5th and 20th of each month. In between, we’ll feature snippets and stories from all of Edward’s writing. That part of this will be fairly random, a combination of quick stuff and unpublished quick scenes. The goal is three solid items per month, along with personal logs and whatnot. That’s what you’ll get at the $1 a month patron level.
Future levels
We anticipate adding a $5 level in the Fall. That will likely coincide with the release of the new novel, Trivial Tacos. Edward’s first romance novel is fun story we know you’ll enjoy. It’s twelve chapters, so we’ll follow the same pattern, but at the higher level.
Join us!